Yesterday/last night I did it; I pitched a mommy tantrum.  I was filled with anger, disappointment, frustration, self-pity and completely ignored every inclination I had to see the good, excellent, praiseworthy, truth in my situation.  I was selfish.  It took hours before I stepped outside, breathed some fresh God-created air and my spirit changed…instantly.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  Philippians 4:8

We (as in Mr. GQ and I sans los hijos) were invited to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo BBQ Cookoff last night with a couple of friends.  {A little backstory}:  If you don't live in Houston then you may not fully comprehend just how big and fun the cookoff can be (if you have friends with a tent), especially on Thursday night when the public is not allowed in yet.  It's live country music playing in each tent with dance floors begging you to two-step and plate after plate of delicious Texas BBQ.  I have a fondness for the event because as a native Houstonian I have been attending it since age 12.  My dad was on a cookteam for over a decade and a committeeman at HLSR for just as long so for three weeks in Feb/Mar I burned up the roads between my hometown suburb and Kirby Drive.    

When our friends asked us to attend this week I felt the spark of excitement deep down inside of me.  I don't exactly get offered a break such as this from my duties at home as a mother of three and wife to my sweet husband very often.  It all hinged on finding a babysitter and my dad, bless his huge PawPaw heart, agreed.  He game down at 5 p.m. to watch the grandkids; now you must know that my dad is a single man and an awesome grandpa.  He comes here without any help from a wife and keeps my kids regularly so that I can run errands, get my haircut, go to school parties, or just to visit with us.  But putting a teething and attached baby to sleep at bedtime is a whole other ballgame.  I could tell he was intimidated by the little 15 pound booger attached to my hip and crying anytime I left the room.  This grandkid sitting job was not going to be easy.

My patience was already thin and I had already spent the afternoon yelling at the kids for not remembering to "listen and obey" before the evening ever arrived.  I had never stopped to pray for myself or my attitude.  All that I had done was yell.  a lot.  When dad arrived I had still not showered, had on no makeup and hadn't picked out an outfit.  BUT, dinner was ready, dishes were done and laundry was put away.  My husband called at 5:30 and he was still at work.  Our plans to leave at 5:30 were not falling into place and I was immediately angry.  I got on the phone with my husband and my mouth exploded.  

"Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!"  Psalm 141:3

I failed.

At about 7 p.m. after a mommy tantrum that had lasted two hours and a path of angry destruction that was aimed at my three little angels, I stepped outside to see my dad out to his truck and that is when I finally took the time to be quiet and listen to the Lord.  His spirit washed over me like fresh water as soon as the cool air touched my skin.  I felt it.  I was wrong. YES, I NEED a break.  I NEED to get dressed up and put on makeup and hangout with adults on occasion without having to parent at the same time.  Mr. GQ and I NEED dates out of the house together, but last night was not the night and I needed to surrender.  I needed to look into my satchel of fruits and pull out self control for a big bite and I needed to be an example to my children of how to act when you don't get your way.  

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience; kindness, goodness, faithfulness; against such things there is no law." Galations 5:22-23

 This morning I wake up thankful {like every other morning} that God's mercy is new and he is offering it to me because HE loves me so much.  I pray that I will do the same today for the people in my life today.  I pray that I reflect on yesterday and choose to spend this day exerting self control to keep a guard at my mouth and show my children what it means to live a life full of fruits of the spirit and focusing on the attributes of God.  I sing this song with the kids some mornings and it is just as much for me as it is for them.  "This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22,23