In my 30s I workout to take care of my body, to clear my mind and to set an example for my kids. I wrote a blog post about the biblical reason I workout a while back and you can read it here. Looking decent in a swimsuit is definitely a perk, but not the reason. That hasn't always been the case. You all know I #wannbefit, because I do talk about it a lot and post about it often. I've always wanted to be in good shape, well except when I am pregnant...than I just want to sleep, eat pb&j sandwiches and have random emotional outbursts. For years I worked out a couple times a week and increased my gym visits mainly when I knew summer was coming, because I wanted to make sure I looked hot in my bikini. (I did. I know that's conceited but it is also a fact, ask my best friends that have known me through all of my body stages.) I once had a boy tell me in high school "your face is alright but your body is like BAM." I was insulted and flattered at the same time. I'll never forget his words and now I laugh because I think it has reversed.
As a teen and college student I ate pretty much whatever I wanted and worked out a couple times a week, but I was always in a kinesiology class in school and walking or biking all over campus in college so that helped keep me in shape; not to mention my youthful metabolism. It wasn't until I graduated and went to work in downtown Houston that I began to steadily put on pounds year after year. Before I knew it I was 21 pounds heavier and found out I was pregnant with our first baby. I gained 52 pounds in my first pregnancy...on top of the 21 I had already gained by being inactive, eating Ninfa's breakfast tacos a bag of chili Fritos and a soda nearly everyday of the work week. After I had my first two kids I still focused on how I looked in a bikini and I lost a lot of weight through healthy diet and regulary exercise. I definitely got fit and into the 120's for the first time since graduating college. I fell in love with fitness and decided to go to work for my best friend as a personal trainer in her bootcamp business. It was awesome and I loved being a trainer. It was inspiring to watch my clients come to bootcamp wanting to change their lives and seeing my coaching help them reach and exceed their goals. This is when I realized healthy living is a lifestyle and something that is expected of us by God. {1 Corintians 6:19-20 } It wasn't about the bikini anymore; it was about the person's body, mind and spirit.
Everyday I battle the thoughts in my head. Thoughts of how many ways I am not good enough: not young enough, smart enough, fit enough, thin enough, a good enough mom, wife, christian. I doubt my ability to start and finish most things. I question marriage and parenting styles. I am filled with fear driven by women who won't stop trying to connect with my husband, teachers who tell me my child has a lot of "energy" and wondering why my friends don't want to spend more time with me. All of these fears, worries and doubts are brought to me by Satan. None of these thoughts are of God Almighty and I can feel that in my spirit. Working out is a sure fire way to help me fight back against the lies in my head. Running is a time full of prayer and clarity. Lifting weights shows me all the strength I have gained, and looking in that mirror reminds me I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Sometimes when I see something on social media or read an email that I know will send me into a tailspin, crashing straight into the sofa with a jar of Nutella, I put on my running shoes or head to the gym. God is for me; not against me and HE made this body to move and these endorphins to pick me up when I get down.
I was surprised to find out at age 31 that I was pregnant a third time. Surprised to tears actually, because I dreaded the weight I would gain, and I knew it was inevitable because I believe that I am genetically predisposed to always gain big in pregnancy. I gained 50 pounds with my third and cried the entire 39 weeks because I knew how hard it would be to lose the weight. I could not wait to get the baby out and into my arms for all those snuggles and kisses...and so I could get to work. I still have not lost it all and it's been nearly three years since that baby was born. But, I am FIT. I don't have a stomach as flat as it was after my second baby or some of my friends, but I am FIT. I am covered in stretch marks from my neck to my ankles, but I am FIT. I don't have a thigh gap and I NEVER will (not to mention, I really don't want one), but I am FIT. My arms are muscular and my calves are so big that I don't fit into most riding boots, but I am FIT. My kids know what a burpee is and how to do one, like to drink green smoothies and understand that we choose food God made over food that man made on a normal day in this house. I am daily telling my kids to choose foods that make them fast and fit and not slow and fat. This isn't meant in an offensive way to anyone; it's just the honest truth. Eating/drinking CRAP (carbonated sodas, refined sugars, artificial sweeteners and processed foods) will feed fat cells in your body and make you slugish and tired. Real FOOD (fruits & veggies, organic lean proteins, omega 3 fatty-acids, drinking water) will give you energy, build lean muscle and nurture the body/temple God gave you.
I still battle that obnoxious voice inside that tells me I am not good enough. It's hard for me to sit next to thin friends on the beach and sometimes even my husband who is totally underwear-ad-worthy-hot. I don't want people to look at him and wonder why I am next to him, I judge my stretch marks and thick lower body when I look at photos, but I find confidence in knowing that I can run faster, longer, jump higher and lift heavier than most of the women in the gym with me and God made me to move. I workout in my 30s because I want to do more than just live; I want to LIVE a good long life. I want to explore the world with my kids and run along side them as they explore and make memories. I want to take care of this temple I have been given and glorify God with every stride I take and every rep I complete.