ISO: Mom Friend, Enjoys Live Music, Hallmark Movies, Workout Leggings As Pants, A Crude Sense Of Humor and Lover of Jesus

Friendship is everything y’all, I mean aside from the given #1,2,3 {Jesus, Husband, Kids}.We all need girlfriends, because they make life easier, and in my opinion, the older you get the more you need them. Today I was gently reminded that the search for mom-friends is a real topic we need to discuss.It can be SO HARD!But being alone is even harder.

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When I moved to this pretty little town in the Texas hill country two years ago I knew I was going to need to find myself a friend or an entire group of them.  {wannabereal:  I was so desperate for conversation with an adult that when I went to visit my hairdresser every six weeks I got nervous/excited!  She was the deepest conversation I had for months, and God love her for being so kind as to listen to me and all the crazy that came from my mouth.  Y’all know.  I’m was a mess.  Still am, new day, same me.  @saryn_henk you are the best and you make me feel beautiful every six weeks.  Thanks Babe!🔥}

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But the wannabereal truth is you can’t make friends just sitting at home waiting on someone to invite you to do something.  You even have to do more then just show up at that women’s bible study you went to last week...you have to actually talk!  Throw yourself in the deep end and swim dadgumit!  When you find someone that talks back ask them question.  TIP:  People generally like talking about themselves so ask questions until you find one they get excited about and don’t dominate the conversation.  Equally Important: be a good listener.  This is where I struggle, because I can talk for hours upon hours. That woman sitting in front of you may need a mom-friend just as badly as you and has something she needs to say to somebody, anybody, but no one ever takes the time to listen to her!  Be her person, even if just for today.  This method works y’all.  I have proved it time and time again and I have made friends everywhere:  church, the park, a Tex-next restaurant, Costco (seriously great lil story and I am still friends with her to this very minute). 

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All this to say being at home full-time with or without your kids is a very lonely job, especially if you have a traveling husband who isn’t at home in the evening to talk and debrief about your day, or maybe a husband who just doesn’t talk.  I’ve been there...still am there y’all, and we all need “our people”.  They come to you when you are sick, bring your Gatorade and grape juice when kids are puking, run carpool when you have three soccer games at the same time in two different locations and only one of you.  They spot the look of panic on your face and come to your rescue when you have no words to defend yourself, they laugh and cry with you, they don’t judge you for your stumbling blocks and failures, {or at least they should not}, they take awesome overnight adventures with you and act like you are all 22 again, and they love you through this big beautiful mess we call motherhood.  Go find your people and hug them tight, then buy matching pajamas and have a sleepover.  Invite me.  I’ll bring the coffee, wine and crude sense of humor.

These Three Things

The first week of every year is always packed full of proclamations from all over the world, {no thanks to social media}, of all that we want to do, be, earn, lose in the 365 days ahead.  Did you do it?  Did you boldly share with all who will listen, read, hold you accountable, the new year's resolution(s) you intend to make in your life in 2017?  You did.  I mean just log into social media and spend the next couple of hours reading them.  There are plenty of photos of healthy food choices plated beneath just-the-right lighting, food choices folks think are healthy but really are not, gym selfies, daily bible passages and #ootd posts.  It can be very overwhelming and intimidating to make a proclamation when I feel like I am not enough in sooooooo many areas.  I was curious about how to be a better wife and mother to my family so I decided to ask my husband to choose three things. THESE THREE THINGS are what I promise to give 100% effort in the year ahead as his wife and mother to our three ring circus.

{I actually choose three things for my husband and ask my husband to also give me three things to focus on in the year ahead to improve our life together.  For the purpose of this post I will focus on the three things I ask of him}.  

As a wife and mother I am constantly feeling as if I am not enough.  Do you feel me?  Not young enough, hot enough, skinny enough, smart enough, kind enough, sweet enough, soft-spoken enough, well-dressed enough, fun enough, adventurous enough, faithful enough, modest enough, sexy enough, thankful enough, available enough.  Enough.  It all gets so overwhelming that it makes me crawl into a hobbit hole of sheets and blankets (my bed) some days, eat a jar of Nutella and binge watch Bravo.  But if I can focus on giving 100% to just three things for the year then it helps alleviate the pressure, the burden of being enough.  This all began a few years after I left my corporate job to stay home.  You see, I had a difficult time adjusting to not having proof of my hard work all day.  I mean y'all, my house looks exactly the same when my husband gets home as it did when he left most days, actually some days it looks worse!  It doesn't matter that I did four more loads of laundry or ran the dishwasher twice already; there will always be a pile of laundry and dirty dishes during this phase of life.  So I found myself, and still do, giving Mr. G.Q. a bulleted verbal list of all that I completed that day...even though no one can tell by looking at my house.  He doesn't care about my mess.  He knows.  I'm sure some of you will read this and think "Why do you care what he thinks?  It's about improving yourself, not him.  Do what makes you happy."  Our American society is obsessed with a self-seeking and self-righteous focus on only doing what makes YOU happy, and in turn we can be better for the world around us.  I do take time for myself and I preach to other moms that they need to take time for themselves as well, but being a stay-at-home wife and mother is the most selfless calling I have ever answered in my life and the pressure to appear perfect at all times is just too much to handle.  My problem is I don't ever know what is most important to him if I don't ask him and I CARE about what is most important to my husband. Our only restriction is that none of the three things can be related to sex.  Sexual intimacy is a very important component of the husband/wife relationship and we have plenty of talks about our needs and wants - you should too.  {Another day, another post}.  So, no sex on the card.  Most of the time his three things for me are not the same as my three things for myself.  Funny how that works right?  Not.  Does he want a spic-n-span house, is it most important to him that I workout regularly to take care of the temple I have been given, does he want me to work on controlling my temper?   I give him an index card and ask him to write down these three things and I complete a card for him as well.  

How do we choose the three things?  Each thing can be simple or complex or a mixture of both.  Obviously asking me to focus on taking good care of my body means I need to focus on living a healthy lifestyle of fitness and consumption.  Controlling my temper was actually one of his requests the first year and as a believer that sent me straight to God's word to use the tools our Heavenly Father has given us to be slow to anger and place a guard at our lips.  Some requests are less complex, like having a clean kitchen each night before bed or being punctual.  Other requests may take a little nudging such as, if you request for your husband to lead a daily devotional for your family then go online and pick one out on Amazon and have it delivered to your door.  Leave it on his pillow.  LOL.  If you want to have a weekly date night then sit down together with a planner and schedule your dates for the next year, send him a website like the Dating Divas for help coming up with a variety of date night options and let him know you will handle arranging the babysitter.  Teamwork makes the dream work ladies.  THESE THREE THINGS has really helped me relax and honestly it gives me a much needed hall pass on everything else that adds to the pressure of trying to be some perfect fitness blogging, pinterest craft wielding, organic #wannabefoodie wife and mother.

If you decided to use this method with your spouse please come back here and let me know.  I'd love to read your messages and hear your stories.

Pressure

It's only the second day of 2016 and already I feel intense pressure pushing me down.  I keep trying to get back up and then someone hollers one of my many names, my front door opens and children spill inside my house (that I've been trying to clean for five hours), my stomach growls because it is hungry and I remember I left an uneaten salad sitting on the kitchen counter.  Everyone is talking about how they take down their Christmas decor on December 26th and I just wanna shake them and kick them in the shins because my Christmas is usually still up until just before Valentine's Day.  {Because that is my deadline.}  It's not because I don't want to take it all down...it's because someone is always calling my name, changing my plan for the day by showing up at my house, sick, wanting to play...or I am just tired and want to get lost with a tub of hummus, some pita chips and bravo on the tv.   

My pile-o-Christmas. I'm not even going to mention my three trees; which I love and don't want to scale down.  I do love them. 

Last night I uttered words I wish I never had allowed to escape my lips.   I said I was going to the gym today.  Then today arrived and I can't keep up with life. The baby is always needing something, getting angry at his siblings, needs his nose wiped or diaper changed.  The biggins want to host all their friends in the movie room and I don't want to say no because I love their friends like family and I want them to want to hang out at my house.  So instead I get my stern face and voice in order and lay down the laws of my house.  A chorus of "yes ma'am".  I'm sure I'll miss all of this one day too soon.  I had two kids fishing in my koi pond yesterday.  They were using real rods... with real hooks which got caught in my tree when they tried to cast it.  A third kiddo was fishing for crawfish under our trampoline and had mud up to her elbows and knees.  

On a good note I awakened this morning and thought as I glanced in the mirror while brushing my teeth and my hair at the same time {multi tasking is crucial as a mother} "hey, I look rested and young!  Awesome day".  Then I went upstairs to help my daughter and she very lovingly and with a concerned voice looked at my reflection in her  mirror and said "Mommy, you look tired." Sad face.  I just woke up!   I thought I looked good!  Poor baby.  She doesnt know how those words are like salt in a wound to a mother of three in her mid-thirties. I do wear makeup for a very good reason.  To cover my tired looking face up and because Instagram filters don't work in real life.  

Second day of 2016 and I'm still fluffy and aging.  House is still a big dadgum mess because we left the day after Chrstmas and got home in January {sounds so much more dramatic that way}.  I can't decide if I want to drink a pot of coffee because I just like it dang it, three shots of fireball and say to heck with it all, an herbal tea cleanse to help with my fluffy places or water because I'm already behind on my water intake for the day.  Coffee counts toward my 2,000 ounces right?  

Dishes for daaaaaayzzzz

C-O-L-L-E-G-E

I have a lot of nieces and nephews and a couple of them are in college now so I often find myself morphing into my mother and bestowing words/half-hour-lessons of wisdom on them.  {They usually find a lame reason to get off the phone with me if I get too long-winded or they just stop texting}.  They love texting. 

AJ's Words Of Wisdom-Fall 2015

1.  College life, as a dependent on your parents' taxes, is stressful but and not as difficult as being an adult who pays taxes, a mortgage and takes care of small humans.  So, first priority-study HARD.  Then soak it up, have fun {all things in moderation}, stay up late and sleep in late because when you grow up...you can't do that anymore. 

2.  When you are 34 you cannot eat Blue Bell ice cream and candy corn in the fall and fit into cute tailgate dresses.  Learn to snack on raw veggies now.  

3.  The road goes on forever and the laundry never ends {once you have children} so WASH your clothes once a week.  You don't want to be that smelly, disheveled kid in the 9 am class.  And wash your sheets!  It's very important to wash your sheets!

4.  True love is worth the wait...so wait on it.  

5.  All you need is ONE best friend, being popular is overrated and doesn't look good on most people.  

6.  Mom jeans do not look good on anyone and should never come back in style.  Just say no to high waisted jeans. 

7.  Ramen is good.   And cheap.  And makes you retain water like a beast so eat it while you are young, but don't eat too much of it. 

8.  Travel.  Even if you can only afford to travel down the road...go.  Learn about new places.  Visit museums, look at art no matter how weird it looks, eat local foods and journal about it.  You'll be glad you did.  

9.  Sit in the front of the class. You'll be glad you did.  

10.  Go to church every week, no matter what.  It keeps your feet grounded in the Word of God.  Again, you'll be glad you did.  

CHEESE!

I take selfies BC I am a mother, aka the family photographer, secretary, journalist, and without my selfies no one will ever know I existed in our children's childhood. So don't hate the selfie. Say "CHEEEEEEESE!"

I Can't Even

I got home five days ago from the longest trip I have ever taken in my life, not to mention the longest away from my three precious angels. (Yep, that was intentional.). I've been home FIVE days and it now feels like I never left.  

Our entire trip to Europe feels like a dream at this particular moment.  I mean, I know it happened.  I have a partially unpacked suitcase in my closet and a long list of credit card purchases, {mainly for delicious food and wine to prove it}.

I came home to my little Cowboy running a fever and coughing through bronchitis. Two days later the Gamechanger had textbook Croup and I was spending my Saturday morning in the pediatrician's waiting room along with fifteen other moms and kids. Yesterday I had to miss church because the baby obviously should not go to the nursery with croup and a fever the day prior.  I knew I needed to hear the sermon and so I tried to live stream, but the first service got stuck about five minutes in and the second service worked perfectly.  However, it's tough to hear the preacher when the baby is crying because everything makes him angry.   I may have seen my husband for a solid two hours total since we got home last week. All quality time has been eaten alive by schedules and a cranky baby. 

This morning I awakened to a new day because I know and believe HIS mercies are new every morning and I sure wish mine were, but sadly today they were not.  The biggins just could not get along, bickering and crying as soon as they saw each other, the baby was once again ticked off anytime be heard the word "no" and I was tapping out before 8 a.m.  I mean a mom can't even take a poop without feeling like she is committing a crime against her children!   My sweet husband called in the middle of me trying to be extra productive and scrub the cushions on the outdoor sofa. Being outside makes the Gamechanger happy and I was trying to knock something off my to-do list.  Mr. GQ's timing was impeccable-just as the baby dumped my big bucket full of Oxyclean and dishsoap all over the patio and into the grass. Awesome.  Hope it's not toxic.   I cried.  He called to check on me because he knows I love the attention and thoughtfulness and I freaked out and cried over spilled Oxyclean and dishsoap. 

It is now time for my mid-morning snack/meal and this baby is going to take an early nap. I think I will go stare at my partially unpacked suitcase and reminisce of the secret moments on our trip that only myself and Mr. GQ know happened.  I like that.  I like our secrets.  When Gamechanger wakes up I am going to press ReStart on this day but I'll make sure I go to the bathroom first. 

Simply Acceptable

You know what?  I am annoyed.  I'm annoyed with what has become simply acceptable.  Lifestyles that are simply acceptable.  Speech that is simply acceptable.  Actions that are…simply acceptable.  There are times in this life when I get grossly discouraged and disgusted with the decisions made by women.  Men disgust me too, but this week's events remind me of how far we as women have to go in order to get the respect we expect from men.  There are a few things lately that really set me off:

• Dressing like a hooker because you think that is what you have to do to get a man.  I spend most of my weekends from Aug - Nov at college football games where I get the chance to see the next generation of women dressed in the least amount of clothing possible.  {Now let me say that I am totally guilty of having worn skirts too short, dresses too tight and swimsuits too tiny in my younger years.  But I have grown in wisdom and through experience.  I'm 30-something.  30s are the best btw.  There is a time and a place for everything.  Keep the skimpy clothes in the bedroom with your husband.}  I'm talking cut off jeans so short I see booty cheeks when she walks.  Skirts so short and tight paired with tops also so short and tight that she looks like she is dressed as Julia Roberts BEFORE from Pretty Woman.  I watch the girls hobble in their six inch heels across uneven concrete pathways and into bars, tailgates, even the stadium because they have been sold on the idea that the more skin they show the more likely they are to get the attention of a man.  Well sister, you got one thing right.  You will get the attention of a man…lots of them actually, but they won't respect you the way you should be respected.  They WILL assume that you are offering something more than just a "peek" and they will take advantage of you.  Go home, put on a cute pair of jeans and t-shirt with a cute flannel shirt over that and bring your cute booty back here with confidence and poise.  Show them you are smart and rock that flannel shirt.  Respect yourself and you will find a man who wants to respect you.
• Having a relationship {of any kind} with a married man who isn't YOUR married man.  It usually starts as friends and grows from there.  Stop it.  He has already met the love of his life and he doesn't need you to be the biggest mistake of his life.  I've watched marriages slowly fall apart because men and women think innocent little texts, lunches, happy hours with "just-a-friend" are okay.  You are opening the door to temptation and asking for trouble.  Stop it.  Touch MY man and I will hunt you down.  {I'm not kidding.}
• Defining feminism as a woman's right to oil her body and pose butt naked on the cover of a magazine {well she did wear a pearl choker} because you somehow think this further empowers the cause of women's rights???

The internet has been abuzz all week {albeit, she did not break it} because Kim Kardashian and Paper Magazine wanted to test us.  They wanted to push the limit.  They wanted to manipulate us and because we are so predictable, that is exactly what they did.  They won.  I was shocked {I'm not sure why, I mean she made herself famous by "accidentally" having a sex tape released.  No accident folks.  She knew what she was doing and I think her mama did too.}.  Sad, so sad.  I couldn't go on twitter without seeing meme after meme of KimK and in all her oiled up glory.  {My personal fave?  The one with her booty cheeks turned into two giant glazed Krispy Kreme donuts.}  I got angry when I saw women praising her representing a woman's right to pose naked and further the cause of feminism.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME????  You think what she did makes us more of an equal to men???  You think she is breaking the glass ceiling by posing butt naked???  You think she is demanding respect???  She is doing the exact opposite!  She is using her body to make money.  Excuse me for being blunt, but she is pimping herself out for the sake of celebrity and fortune.  Men are not taking notice and offering up respect on a silver platter; oh no, they are using her cover to feed their grotesque thoughts and actions.  GROSS.  They are treating other women in their lives like pieces of meat worthy of only gawking eyes, sexual favors and inferiority.  Sadly, KimK is someone little girls and grown women all over the USA follow and admire for her beauty and success.  Actions like this are breeding generations of women who will not be demanding respect and chivalry, but rather they will demand inferiority and abuse.  Frankly speaking.

You Say Messes I say Messes

A mess is a mess is a mess.  You feel me?  The problem is at this stage in life with THREE little angels who sometimes behave like little daredevils I have no time to clean up my own messes because I am constantly following behind and cleaning up the messes they make.  

This morning is the perfect example.  I decided last night that today will be completely dedicated to getting my laundry room in order…again. {I think I have a four foot countertop in there but I can't remember what color it is.  It is COVERED in layers of paperwork, mail, craft projects, tools, and toys that need repair.}  Today is…was the day.  Angel baby awakened at 6:45 a.m. in typical baby fashion (screaming at the top of his lungs until I appear in his doorway with a bottle of warm almond milk).  Cowboy woke up next because the wrap on his pinky finger/forearm (another day another post) came completely off and he was fuh-reaking out.  This in turn awakened cowgirl who came stumbling down the stairs mumbling that her little brother's tears had gotten her out of bed before seven a.m.  {Waking up this early is nothing new.  We wake up sub 7 a.m. every day which is good come school year time.}  I tended to Cowboy's hand, washing it with hydrogen peroxide, applying antibiotic ointment and rewrapping it while Cowgirl sat with the baby, but when I came back into the living room I found said baby literally painting my wool rug with almond milk!  He had somehow discovered that if he would turn the bottle upside down and pound the nipple on the floor then milk would pour out in big bold streaks…then he'd drag his foot through it.  He's an artist!  I got a wet rag from the kitchen, soaked it up, rubbed it b/c that just felt like the right thing to do and went to make a cup of coffee.  About an hour later Cowboy tripped on a basket holding Cowgirl's beloved ceramic tea set and broke two pieces…lots and lots of wails and tears from her.  I cleaned it up, vacuumed the stairs and promised to glue it back together (one more project into my already messy laundry room).  The baby tried to empty one of my lower cabinets {b/c the baby locks I bought were these new fangled magnetic kind and our cabinets are too thick for the locks to set.  This must be rectified soon b/c I cannot leave Angel Baby in the kitchen and go to the bathroom for fear he is going to swallow some cleaning powder}.  I've changed three dirty diapers in two hours and have yet to feed myself breakfast, BUT all three kids have eaten…some of them more than once already.  My sink is already full of dishes.  

…and now the baby naps.  I had a choice to make:  A.  Blog about this under frankly speaking and let it all out or B. start work on the laundry room before he wakes up and it starts all over again.  I chose A.  Next I hope to feed myself something.

Insight From A Once Stupid Teenager: No Really I was Stupid

Written with love and devotion to my sweet teenage nieces

and any other teen girl (or boy) that reads this post

Right now as a teenager there are a lot of moments in each week, heck maybe daily, when you roll your eyes and think to yourself "My mom is so annoying!  She just doesn't understand what it's like to be me right now.  She grew up like a long time ago.  I mean the 80s were soooo looong ago and she just doesn't understand me at all.  She is such a dork."  I am here to tell you every letter, word, syllable of that statement is 100% false.  She understands it all.  She walked the hallways and felt alone.  She didn't have direction in her life and she wandered in search of who she wanted to become after high school/college.  She was embarrassed and peer pressured.  She made bad choices, gasp, had a crush or two or three, gasp-gasp and she rolled her own eyes at her mother.  

When you become a mother you learn a lot about your own.  You see her in a new light.  You respect her more and eventually you morph into her like a caterpillar emerging from its cocoon as a beautiful butterfly.  Man, I sound like my mom right now.  (Yes teenagers, that means you are the awkward, chubby, slow moving and hairy caterpillar and your mother is the beautiful, graceful, speedy, flitting from here to there and back here again to take you to your endless activities butterfly.)

There were days when you were little bitty and sick with a tummy ache that you looked up at her with fear in your eyes and said "Mommy, I think I just pooped in my pants" (no really, true story) and she didn't yell at you.  She didn't reprimand you or make you clean it up yourself.  She patted you on the back and told you it was okay.  She cleaned you up, cleaned your underwear up and you knew she was all you needed to make it better.  Just being around her at that age made everything better.  You drove her crazy back then, but she was crazy in love with you.

Remember the time you were playing stupid outside with friends and fell and busted your head open and the person who ran to you was your mother.  She held you in her arms, took you to get stitches and cried with you as you cried in fear and pain.  

Or as a teenager, when that boy broke up with you on the phone and ripped your heart out in a puddle on the floor she stood next to you and told you he wasn't worth it.  (She actually got on the phone with him and LET HIM KNOW you were better.  You deserved better and he wasn't worth it.)  Go Mom. Yeah! (again, true story)

She annoys you right now but just you wait and see.  One day soon she will be all you want on a day when you are alone and she will come running again to pat you on the back, tell you its okay and help you clean up the mess.  She loves you in a way words can't explain or define.  It's truly beyond compare and description and you won't know it until you stand in HER shoes one day.

My Butterfly and me in 2012

Show Off

I got the best text from a girlfriend this morning.  {She just had her third baby.}  It was a pic of her kitchen sink with the caption "How can my kitchen sink already look like this?!"  It was also 8:37 a.m.
Here was my response:

Welcome to the club!

And then I got a glorious idea!  {An EPIPHANY!}  I want y'all to post pics of your messy house on my page anytime you want.  Just go to the Facebook link in the top right corner of my blog and post your pic to my wall.  Anything you want…laundry, dishes, crumbs on the floor, messy closets, dust on your baseboards and hashtag it #wannabereal. 

So here you go.  This was my sink this morning.  Its all in the dishwasher now but rest assured it will look like this again in the morning... and there is a pile of laundry at the bottom of my bed that I have been ignoring all day.

I'm No Housekeeper

If you are going to be my friend then you are going to have to love me crumbs, dust bunnies and all because I am no housekeeper.  I try.  I work on my house daily.  I don't have a hired housekeeper because I have this idea in my head that I have to CONQUER my house on my own and one day I will create the perfect routine to keep it running clean and perfect.  {right.  when the kids are in college.}  The stains on the carpet leading up our stairs make me groan and complain 100 times a day and the dust in our master is thick enough to build a dust castle with it, (not really, I exaggerate but it's funny).

I have a girlfriend who called today and wants to pop-in.  I told her of course but you have to love me dirty house and all.  So for all of you who come to my house for a party or shower and see it all picked up and perrrty please don't open any closed doors.  You may not survive what is found behind them.  ;0)  I better go put on some deodorant and brush my hair before my company arrives!

I DO Lunch

I'm one of "those" ladies now…
I do lunch.
weekly.
without kids.
meaning it isn't a playgroup; it's lunch.
I love it.

You know how when you first become a mom you are soooo excited to organize playgroups and get together with other moms so that you can share stories, swap ideas and let each other know you are not alone?  It's important.  It helps you to become a better mother.  It helps you keep your sanity in the sea of spit up, dirty diapers, restless nights and yoga pants.  But the kids are there, playing at your feet, nursing from your booby, crying when a toy is taken from them.  It is a milestone and necessary in your journey as a mother.

But when you are on your third child; you are over playgroups.  {Don't get me wrong.  I love to mentor and help my girlfriends that are just now slipping on their mommy shoes and I am an open book.  You come on over and I'll make us each a cup of coffee or hot tea.  Ask me any question and I will give you the most honest, God-honoring answer that I can, and if I don't have one I'll send you to a mother who does.}

But let's be real:  I have progressed.  I now see how CRUCIAL it is for me as a mother of multiple kids to make time for ME and ME ALONE.  I do lunch.

We meet every weekly and it is glorious.  We dine on salad, soup, bread and lots of delicious conversations without having to pick up a paci, fork or spoon from the floor.  I don't have to tell anyone "YOU better GLUE YOUR BOOTY to that CHAIR or we are going to the car."  The kids are in good hands and having way more fun than if they were having lunch with me.  It's a win-win. 

I am one of "THOSE" ladies and I love it.  I may have t-shirts printed.  Who wants one?

How To Clear Space On Your iPhone

How annoying is it when you need to take a pic like RIGHT NOW but your iPhone pops up some dumb factory message that you need to create more space for storage or purchase more storage???  Seriously.  Does it have to happen in this moment?  

I did a lot of research trying to find an easy answer for this message and there isn't one.  Many sites will tell you that the storage is being taken up by your photos.  But it takes  A LOT of photos and videos to consume 16 GB of space.  The truth is the storage is begin eaten alive by every.single.message (sms) you have ever sent.  This includes video, text and pix messages.  (This is not your email account, that is different)  I know, I know, you went in and slid your finger across the message, clicked delete and assumed it is gone into outer space somewhere but the truth is that little booger and thousands of others are still stored somewhere in the intricate brain of your phone and thereby taking up all of your space.  Here is what I have done (two times in two years) to fix the issue and it works like a charm:

Look at your usage under general settings. It will tell you how much space is taken up on your phone by each app, etc. In my case I had ONE picture on my phone (seriously, ONE), zero music and text messages only from Dec 2013-Jan 2014 (two months) which we all know is nothing. BUT my usage consistently said that my messages were taking up 8.9GB which is a ton of space. 
I researched and the way the iPhone works it never truly deleted your SMS messages when you chose delete. It still stores them. Forever. Until you restore the factory settings to your phone. 

SO... Here is what I did:
1. Went into iTunes on my Mac and Backed up my phone to my Mac, BC my cloud is full too. 

*make sure you remember your passwords for all your apps like Pinterest, FB, Twitter, etc or else you will be requesting them soon. 

2. Then clicked "restore" in Itunes to restore factory settings.

The phone did it all and then I chose to set up my phone as a new iPhone INSTEAD of loading my backup to it BC that only put 8.9GB of invisible messages back onto my phone. 

3.  Once my phone was reconfigured I went into iTunes and synced my backed up contacts and my backed up apps to my phone. Voila. 

I do not ever keep a lot of pics or videos on my phone. I regularly move them into an online service or onto my Mac to keep space free. But now I have 11GB of free space and that is a lot of selfies my friends. 

Remember to BACK IT UP!!!  "You's a big fine woman when you back that thang up"  (gotta drop some hip-hop whenever possible)

Mom Fail #13,787

Today is St. Patrick's Day and I didn't dress my daughter in a stitch of green.  I even watched #Foxnews this morning and saw every anchor in some shade of green and still totally flaked on the notion of dressing Diva in the official color of the day.  BUT she is rockin' a killer leopard print hair bow thanks to a gift of hand-me-down bows from our friends this week.    

I've never been that mom to think ahead and have my kids dressed in monogrammed shirts for every holiday and special occasion of the year.  {Not that that is bad.  I think that is awesome and looks incredibly adorable.  I love the matchy-matchy family pics everyone posts on holidays.  MOST of my very best friends are good at this.  It's one of their things like cooking is for me.  They monogram.  They decorate.  They plan incredible birthday parties.)  It's just not me.  I do make certain to have Christmas and Easter attire each year and my kids are almost certain to stain both with whatever delicious food we eat that day.  

I usually don't care much about these things but this morning when I realized {in the car-rider drop off line} that my little Diva wasn't wearing green I had a minor slit-second panic attack.  I had visions of her being pinched all day and the only child in class NOT wearing a monogramed shirt emblazoned with a four leaf clover and the words "Irish You A Happy St. Patrick's Day!"  But my sweet baby girl looked around and said, "It's okay Mommy.  There are other kids not wearing green.  It's like when you forgot to dress me up for Go Texan Day."  {Reminder, mom fail #13, 656}

Gah, the pressure!  I thought as I drove home of all the pressure we put on ourselves to keep up with the women around us…to keep up with Pinterest.  Did y'all catch the wording back there??? WE put the pressure on OURSELVES.  Other women aren't holding our heads down to a chopping block and telling us we must keep up.  We make ourselves feel that way.  I mean seriously, I feel the need to plan an epic first birthday party for our last and final baby and I have an internal battle about it.  Do I go all out and follow the Pinterest trend or do I rebel entirely and just drop an old school bomb on y'all.  I'm talking crepe paper, a cake from the local grocery store, balloons, hotdogs and chips and dips?  What???  I mean he is ONE.  He doesn't care.  My second born slept through his entire first birthday cake and presents.  {you never wake a sleeping baby}

And the pressure doesn't end there.  Let's be REAL:

• The pressure to look like I didn't give birth to my THIRD child three months after I gave birth to my third child.  {Ummm…he is nearly nine months old and I still can't wear my old miss me jeans and don't look like my old self} but GUESS WHAT…IT IS OKAY!  I still look hot.  Yep, I said it.  I've always been a little too confident in my looks and the hot is still in here…it's just a little squishy right now.  {BTW, It's okay to say you think you are pretty by the way.  I hope that I teach my daughter to see the beauty in herself on the inside and the outside and not to belittle her own looks or her intelligence.}  
• The pressure to have the perfect house and perfect wardrobe.  Never gonna happen here.  My house is far far far from perfect.  BUT IT IS OKAY!  I have been here for over a year and a half and I still have unpacked boxes in my undecorated "office".  It is full of everything I am not sure what to do with and everything I need to throw away or donate. I don't have a pottery barn or restoration hardware house and it doesn't matter.  I have a house full of handprints, giggles and lots and lots of races around the downstairs.  There will always be loads of laundry to fold, floors to clean and dishes to wash.  It is just the way we roll around here.  I will do a mad dash to clean it all up before I host a party, but it's still there lurking behind the closed doors.  I am not the best housekeeper.  It is okay. 
  I shop at budget stores.  Always have.  Half my closet was bought at Ross.  I buy all my workout clothes at TJ MAXX and I rarely have a matching top and bottom.  I'll wear Under Armor on top and Danskin on bottom.  I don't care as long as the pants make my booty look nice and the top doesn't reveal my squishy places.  I wash my hair every 3-4 days and my new best friend is dry shampoo.  I do love my makeup and try to wear it as often as possible because I just feel pretty with it done but I have no problem running errands au natural.  
• The pressure to forsake all medicine and go completely holistic and organic in all areas of life.  NOW listen ladies, I totally believe in holistic and organic living.  I do TRY to buy as much organic food as possible.  It just makes sense that God did not intend for us to fill our bodies with additives, preservatives and toxins, but if I have to send my kid to school with a lunchable every once in a while… it is OKAY.  
• And birthing stories…oh lawd.  I don't care how you got your baby out of you.  Midwife at home.  Hospital with an epidural.  Scheduled c-section.   You carried a baby and grew a human for 40 weeks!  You recovered from whatever means of childbirth you endured.  That makes you eligible for your superwoman badge in my book.  Welcome to the club.

All this to say, the pressure is heavy but the only one we should strive to be like in this life is Jesus.  In life group yesterday we discussed James 1:19 where James instructs believers to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.  BE LIKE CHRIST first, show love to your spouse and kids and cut yourself some slack in the other areas that don't matter as much.

Pet Peeves: Forming A Line

Tonight we went to our eldest child's first official school program.  I'm talking weeks of rehearsals during school, (doubles on some days instead of p.e. which she definitely did not like), a strict dress code of solid white t-shirt with jeans and standing in a long line for 40 minutes to get into the cafeteria. 

I was prepared.  I had all kids dressed and ready to go at 5:30 so that we could all go to CFA drive thru for dinner and then eat in the car while sitting in the school parking lot.  This plan ensured the best possible parking spot as well as first dibs at the good seats on the front row, because it is hard for a short girl like me to see over anyone's head in front of me...let alone rows and rows of heads.  We arrived at 5:45 p.m. and began the wait.  The doors were set to open at 6:30.  Did I mention it was pouring down rain and we had to unload all three kids, a diaper bag, baby carrier, camera bag, two umbrellas and my purse?  So we get unloaded and stand beneath the cover with plenty of patience.  There were actually about five other parents/grandparents ahead of us and so we did what we have been taught since before first grade ourselves and formed a line.  The line got to about 50 people in length when suddenly one woman and her grandchild decided to completely ignore the line and stand right in front of the doors.  She cut in front of all of us.  I ignored it.  I knew it was time to offer up some grace.  Pat on my back.  Feeling good.  Then about 15 other people decided to stand with her and completely ignore our line, now far exceeding 60 parents/grandparents/impatient children and babies in carriers (one being mine).  Mr. GQ had enough.  He very kindly stepped forward and informed the small mob that a line had formed and some folks had been waiting in it since before 6 p.m. so kindly make your way to the back of the line.  I was shocked when everyone complied.  There was definite mumbling beneath their breath and a few scowls but he didn't care, I was proud of his courage to stand up for those of us abiding by the unwritten rule and courtesy and the man behind us shook Mr. GQ's hand and said "I'll vote for you one day."  

Here is the best part.  When the doors were finally opened at 6:40…they opened the doors at the END of the line so those of us standing at the FRONT of the line since 5:45 were the last to enter.  Oh life is full of irony.